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lyrics

Santa Claus is coming but he won’t be going back
See me and Mike we built ourselves a big ol Santa trap
We’re sick and tired of every year him bringin us just crap
This time we’re taking everything that he’s got in that sack

We strung a bunch of barbed wire from the trees back to the roof
We’ll wait until it tangles up them stupid reindeer’s hoofs
Then we’ll open fire on that old fat bastards sleigh
For all them years of screwin us Ol santa’s gonna pay

Every one of them damn reindeer every one of them damn elves
We’re gonna keep on shootin till our shotgun barrels melt
In the morning we’ll have venison we’ll eat until we’re fat
Ol Santa will be sorry that he treated us so bad

We’ll bury his fat carcass in the hemlocks by the brook
We’ll find a place to hide all of the loot that we have took
And no one will be the wiser no they won’t suspect a thing
And no one’s gonna find him till he’s stinking in the spring

By then they’ll think that he was just a bum who must’ve died
On a cold December night when he was wandering outside
And Mike and me will have the best toys in the neighborhood
And people will just think that we were awful fucking good

I gotta go I think I hear them fucking jingle bells
We’re loaded up for bear and now we’re gonna give him Hell
So Merry Christmas everybody everyone and all
Ol Santa won’t be leaving you no presents after all

credits

from Bang Bang Baby Bang Bang Merry Christmas, released November 10, 2010

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Angry Johnny And The Killbillies image

Angry Johnny And The Killbillies Easthampton, Massachusetts

I get on with my days
In a permanent haze
People think it’s a phase
But my madness is growing…

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